In my guestimation, when it comes to stress, I’m my own worst enemy.

I say that because most of my stress is self-induced.  When events turn into stressful situations, it is usually a result of one or two things: 

** I didn’t do something I was supposed to do on a timely basis (for example, I may have forgotten to pay the light bill!) or
** I'm taking on too much and I haven’t learned the art of saying “No.” (That’s a topic for another day!)

Nonetheless, stress shows up. And this is probably true for you too.

Without realizing it, my mind-body genius has, over the years, devised a system for evaluating my challenges, and it has helped me learn how to respond to them.

The cool thing is that I truly can decide how I want to respond and how much I want to allow it to affect me and my body. In effect, I give my body permission to take on a stress - or to discard it.

I won’t deny that it’s a steady challenge to stay mindful and to make conscious choices. But each time, I use the 4 Steps mentioned previously to bring myself to the Present and to acknowledge the situation. By doing this, I am filled with a sense of calm and of being in control of my life and the situation.

So here’s how I tend to place my stress items into different categories and what I do with them.  You probably do something similar, but perhaps haven’t taken the time to analyze it!

1 – Really critical – affects your life in a major way.
This would be things like going through a divorce, losing a job. These are typically long-lasting, stressful situations. It is crucial to stay calm and to put your “healthy-best” focus on them. Take it step-by-step and work through it as you know you can!

Yes these are urgent and critical and affect you big time. The end-result is usually complex and requires a lengthy period to resolve. You want to use the 4 steps I mentioned earlier and work through these. So stay clear headed – do things to help you stay healthy: meditate, exercise, or get a massage.

2 – Important, but not life altering.
These are usually time-sensitive, deadline-oriented, or urgent. A child gets sick at school and needs to be picked up, you’re overbooked and have too many things on your schedule (who did that anyway? You?) These obviously need some attention. What’s interesting is that by being a better planner, you can create contingency plans (who else can pick up your child on occasion? Can someone else attend a meeting for you?). And of course, if the culprit is YOU – you’re the one who takes on the world by yourself, then STOP it! Have a frank chat with yourself and start a new way of discerning priorities, delegating and keeping focused on the really key things that you’ve identified as important in your life.

Yes, these are important. And most of them are self-induced. So:

• become a better organizer – plan your time more effectively
• learn how to say NO with diplomacy – and firmness
• evaluate what’s important – really important - and either drop or delegate the rest (I know, easy to say, hard to do – but you can improve on it!)
• invest in some self-improvement classes to help you move ahead on these types of stressful occurrences

3 – Worthy of your attention, but not urgent.
This would be something like: your yard needs mowed, but the lawnmower is broken, your child forgot his lunch, you need to schedule that appointment with your dentist.  Believe it or not, keeping a lot of “to-do’s” on your list also adds to your stress levels. Make a commitment to get things done. If the lawnmower needs to be fixed, what’s the first step? Finding a repair shop? Then commit to making 4-5 phone calls TODAY and move forward. What’s keeping you from calling the dentist? Do you have to look up the number? Do you even have a dentist? If not, commit to asking some co-workers for recommendations. Do it TODAY and move forward.  You’ll be surprised how easy it is to get things done – just by taking the first step, no matter how easy or small it is.

Surprisingly (or maybe not!), these items, when ignored, often become 1’s or 2’s.  So yes, work on these – but keep everything in perspective. Make a commitment to yourself to focus on taking first steps and staying in action. Get something completed on this list every week!  (And try not to add any more to it!)

4 – Annoyances; things that just happen and get in my way.
The crazy driver cuts in front of you, or you are on a time schedule and the person in front of you at the bank is chatting away, oblivious of everyone else’s needs. Perhaps you run to the store for a last-minute item for dinner and discover the item is temporarily out of stock! 

These are the types of things that happen dozens of times every day. 

OK – you can’t really do anything about most of these – but you can control how you react to them!  I carry a bottle of kid’s bubbles in the car. When I’m stuck in traffic and everyone is really stressed, I get out my bottle and lower my window –then just blow bubbles everywhere. I have such fun with it – and I’m laughing (a great stress buster, by the way!) And you’d be surprised at how many people I see laughing with me, or honking their horns in agreement.  It’s a great feeling.

So how can you have fun with your stress? And what can you do to be preventive?  Would planning your meals in advance help on your grocery runs and last-minute, frantic, “What’s for dinner, Mom?” demands from your kids?

You are in control of your life; no one else. Only you can make it work the way you want it to!  Learn how to minimize the stress-causing events and you’ll surely have fewer challenges to “fix.”  Then you can invest that time enjoying the life you’ve created for yourself!