STRESS. It’s rampant – everywhere we turn. And these days, most of us are experiencing an escalation of this culprit in our everyday lives. 

Stress has long-lasting effects on your personal health – probably not news to you. And it’s easy to dismiss it because, often, there are no immediate, visible signs. It slowly creeps into your life and zaps you. Maybe you have more frequent headaches, or you find yourself forgetting things. At some levels, stress can cause nausea, dizziness and pain. It can eventually hit you with a heart attack, a stroke, or one of many other injuries to your body.

Caveat here – I’m not a licensed medical professional. So always seek the advice of a physician or other medical professional if your symptoms are severe and you feel your health is in danger.

There are mountains of articles and books written on this topic. My intent is to help you become aware of how stress shows up in your life – and how you deal with it. Today, I just want to give you some easy tips on how to reduce the immediate strain and how to introduce new, healthy habits and thought patterns into your life.

OK, so you’re stressed – who isn’t?

Stress affects each person in a myriad of ways. And the sad thing is, most of this we bring on ourselves. That’s right – we are the cause!  So the good news is, if we allow ourselves to be stressed, we can also undo that – and find a way to minimize or alleviate it.

The key is to be honest with yourself and accept what’s happening. Next, you can figure out what to do about it.

One of the best ways to calm down during a hectic situation is to take a moment to feel and to acknowledge whatever is going on – no matter what it is. If you’re angry; acknowledge it. If your breathing becomes more shallow, recognize that. When fear creeps in, accept that, too.

Once you know what is going on, then it no longer holds its power over you. That is when you can begin to move past it.

The techniques I’m about to share with you will help you in any situation – when applied with common sense. Obviously, if you’re in a life-threatening situation (someone is trying to harm you), then other methods are necessary to protect yourself.  

What I’m talking about today pertains to ordinary, everyday crises that arise in your life. Things like: your child forgets his lunch, there’s a wreck and you’re going to be late for work, you just found out your bank account is overdrawn . . . typical things that probably occurred because someone was already stressed and not paying attention . . . and now the result of that inattention brings on even more stress.  It’s a never ending cycle – unless you do something to break the pattern.

Here are 4 simple steps you can take to bring some calm and clarity to any situation:

FIRST – and very important:  STOP!
Just stop with whatever you’re doing, whatever you’re about to blurt out. If you’re inclined to do something physical – like punch your fist through a wall. Just STOP!

SECOND – take a deep breath.
Maybe more than one deep breath.  By stepping away from an event or situation and bringing the focus back into your body, the urgency, the intensity of the situation is lessened – even if momentarily. Taking a pause allows your lightning-speed mind to break out of an automated response and begin to refocus.  This is where you begin to pay attention to how the stress shows up in your body. Do your shoulders get tight? Is your stomach roiling? Are your hands clenched? Recognize the physical signs. They serve as clues. Eventually, you’ll learn to recognize that stress is creeping in – before it can take over!

THIRD – evaluate the situation.
Okay, so your child forgot his lunch. What’s the worst that can happen? Will he go without lunch today? Is that life threatening? I doubt it. So put it into perspective and then it makes it easier to think through the options.

What if your bank account is overdrawn? Will you get hit with some fees? Probably. (If not, let me know which bank you use – I might want to switch! :> Can you reverse the situation? No.  So accept what IS – you’re going to get hit with a fee. And then figure out your options. Maybe it was a mistake and you can clear it up with the bank. How can you prevent the mistake from happening again? If there is more than one person depositing and withdrawing on this account, what happened? Put a plan into place to evaluate the problem and to devise a solution.

Ignoring the pattern that got you there only invites the situation to occur again. Be pro-active and learn whatever lesson comes from this so that you can eliminate it from your growing list of stresses that show up!

FOURTH – Decide and take action.
Once you have your options in front of you – don’t stop there! Leaving things undone causes things to just pile up and creates more stress. So you’ve figured out which option makes sense – just Do It !  If you have to schedule a family meeting and go over a new budget, decide when and where the meeting will be: after dinner on Thursday night. If you need to go talk to the bank about an account issue, get on the phone right now and make the appointment. If your child forgot his lunch (the fourth time this week!) then get to the root cause. Is the lunch bag hidden behind other things as the child leaves for the bus? Is the lunch unappetizing and he is subconsciously trying to figure out how to tell you?

By staying calm, focusing on the real issue and deciding what you can do it about, you’ll find yourself moving through daily challenges without a whimper.

In my next entry, I’ll share with you how I categorize my different stress “challenges.”

Have a Golden Day!
Coach Darlene