Today is a day for questions.

If you were to take a deeper look at what fills up your day, what would you discover? Is it full of chatter – that noise that has little residual value? What I’m talking about is the natter-natter that saps your energy and has no redeeming value. And it’s the drivel that leaves you drained at the end of the day, and you wonder, “Just what did I do with my time today?”

I'm curious to learn how much time we, as individuals, invest in quiet conversation. That may sound like a conundrum - to be quiet AND to have conversation; however, the type of conversation I’m picturing is one in which a person has deep, meaningful exchanges with another – or even with oneself.

In the past several weeks, I have taken intentional notice about the types of conversations I engage in. And I have also, on numerous occasions, been exposed to neighboring conversations at closely-seated tables in restaurants, people talking in the grocery lines, and so forth. 

What is interesting is to notice how much energy and mind space we devote to filling up our beings with low-impact or low-value “stuff.” And I wonder what that costs us. Speaking for myself, the result is that my mind is “crammed” with all the noise still reverberating from the day, and my body is tense and tired.

On average, I observed that about five percent of a person’s time is invested in meaningful exchange. Granted, this is not a scientific experiment, closely monitored and documented; it is a broad sweep of the brush across a canvas.  Only rarely did I observe a mother spending quality time with a child, feeding his curiosity. There was the infrequent stimulating conversation on politics, government and a meaningful exchange of ideas on how to make things better.  I witnessed a proposal of marriage in a park. And in that same park, I noticed in the distance, an elderly man and (presumably) his grown son having conversation.

Those are the types of moments that I want more of in my life.

Each of us has a myriad of opportunities in the day to experience a deep connection with others – and even with ourselves.  At first, it may require some focused planning to create the opportunity or environment so that it can happen. And there’s the challenge: it requires effort.  It is far easier to lock our emotions away and sprinkle some light conversation across our day. The reality is, we can choose to create those opportunities and to bring purpose into our day.

Do you, too, want a richer experience in your life? Take the first step and think of one person with whom you could call up or go visit this week. What would you like to genuinely know about them? What would you want to tell them? How would this experience color your day?

If you could sit down with any three people in the world, what questions would you ask them?

If you could sit down with yourself in a peaceful place, with no interruptions, and all the time you needed . . . what questions would you ask yourself?

What’s holding you back?

Wishing you a meaningful day!
Coach Darlene